Jon “The Big Frost” Reberry
Fresh off the Rocky Mountain Nationals circuit, this fresh faced competitor could be the one to beat. With years of high altitude training, harsh climate survival training, and rapid mountain decent expertise Jon should destroy the competition. If challenges include “igloo building”, “high ropes courses”, or “high speed downhill tree maneuvering”, Frosty will be a shoo-in. On top of extensive mountain experience, Frosty possess unparalleled underwater training; including (but not limited to) “world underwater twister champion”, Florida’s “top shark wrestler”, and has the national title of “Best up and coming underwater paintball man/woman to look out for in 2007” by NUPA (National Underwater Paintball Association). If you are concerned about endurance, you don’t have to look any further than Jon. His ability to hold his breath underwater for extended periods of time is only outmatched by the Groom himself. Again, if any of these skills are transferable to this summer’s Best Man circuit then the competition might as well stay home. If you thought this competition couldn’t get any easier for big Jon, this fierce competitor has also been honing his aerial skills. With thousands of freefall hours under his belt Jon should be the competitor of choice if we see any “freefall backgammon” or “nose-diving computer assembly” categories. Of course, even the strongest competitor has their weaknesses. If this season’s categories have anything to do with remembering names, giving speeches, remembering events, dancing, or really remembering anything at all, this competitor could be in for a world of hurt.
“Jon takes to the water in exactly the same way that a cow doesn’t. “
-D. Adams
“Jon’s game face is unmatched. Even at less than a year old his game face would make all the neighborhood babies wet their pants in fear. The competition this summer should beware.”
-Jon’s Mom
“Jon has real ultimate power. I can’t believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. Jon is totally awesome and that’s a fact. Jon is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can’t wait to start yoga next year.”
-Robert (chief editor of realultimatepower.net)
The Midwestern States Best Man Challenge Regional Circuit has a sure bet: Kieran “The German-Irish Rose” Leopold. The German-Irish Rose, or “The GIR” as his competition have begun to call him, tears through compulsory challenges like he was reading the morning paper. Leopold produces results on game day like a professional rock star. His antics at the 1997 Southern Wisconsin Best Man Challenge District competition, where he trounced a record-holding thirteen contenders to earn the coveted seat at the Navotony Van Deusselhornerdorfenstern ceremony, earned him unprecedented bragging rights as well as a lifetime supply of fat-free Swiss Cheese. Currently, The GIR is in isolation and training in the eastern Himalayas for the grueling Summer season, preparing for an opportunity to move up to the majors. In addition to holding the world record for the perfect speech, Leopold also enjoys keeping items of small size and great value safe from harm, dancing with perfect strangers (including Balki Bartokomous) and has been known to use the catch phrase, “Ah, but you see, I am really not right-handed!”